I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
