If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
