just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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