Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize