ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
