she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
