Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
