just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize