Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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