She announced her abortion via fbk
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
