she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
