Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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