just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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