did you get engaged???
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
