watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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