bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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