I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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