i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
