I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
