oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
