dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize