i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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