how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
