So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize