You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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