I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think my vagina is haunted
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
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your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run