Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (868)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out

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  (412): I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out http://tfl.nu/59g7
  Replies (12) Good night (4961) Bad night (719)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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  (214): It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls. http://tfl.nu/oc6k
  Replies (36) Good night (1480) Bad night (6247)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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  (724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4
  Replies (13) Good night (3321) Bad night (1347)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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  (860): the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real. http://tfl.nu/2bbh
  Replies (5) Good night (4900) Bad night (1012)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card

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  (516): I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card http://tfl.nu/zhem
  Replies (7) Good night (2813) Bad night (1297)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.

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  (434): For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass. http://tfl.nu/3jfn
  Replies (10) Good night (1716) Bad night (1293)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.

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  (203): I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday. http://tfl.nu/b5pa
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (1673)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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  (970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (541)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?

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  (425): OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES? http://tfl.nu/syph
  Replies (18) Good night (2285) Bad night (662)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1461) Bad night (663)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.

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  (616): you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience. http://tfl.nu/y98f
  Replies (1) Good night (899) Bad night (314)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in

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  (503): if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store. (1-503): oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in http://tfl.nu/nfm9
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (417)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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  (516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (359)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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  (913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (616)

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