Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  3.50 mugs at the bar.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

  (512): View more from Texas

  How ugly, and does she have friends?

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  (512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends? http://tfl.nu/peow
  Replies (40) Good night (789) Bad night (1230)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

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  (859): Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota. http://tfl.nu/azvw
  Replies (14) Good night (2891) Bad night (822)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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  (404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80
  Replies (59) Good night (816) Bad night (3631)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies

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  (804): no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies http://tfl.nu/gwy7
  Replies (18) Good night (4051) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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  (727): You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that. http://tfl.nu/4x8y
  Replies (15) Good night (4217) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm

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  (440): One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm http://tfl.nu/xdgb
  Replies (16) Good night (5740) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i think i left my bra at your place

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.

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  (901): i think i left my bra at your place (1-901): It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there. http://tfl.nu/dg7a
  Replies (22) Good night (10964) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1619) Bad night (5464)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

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  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7828) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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  (617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub
  Replies (9) Good night (635) Bad night (2581)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.

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  (614): We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid. http://tfl.nu/h4jz
  Replies (12) Good night (3059) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them

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  (704): Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them http://tfl.nu/4k2w
  Replies (5) Good night (1989) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.

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  (416): okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food. (647): Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40. http://tfl.nu/dr99
  Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what are you going as for halloween?

  (805): View more from California

  drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable

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  (818): what are you going as for halloween? (805): drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable http://tfl.nu/bmlt
  Replies (5) Good night (1107) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.

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  (303): She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on. http://tfl.nu/j7fi
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (355)

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