we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.