so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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