You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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