I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
