Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
