I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
