It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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