I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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