It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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