i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
