Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
