oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
