Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
