Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
