She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize