i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
