she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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