I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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