The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
