I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
