On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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