Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
