Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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