Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I need moral support for this bender
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
