the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i have two assholes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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