He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
