yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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