Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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