They should really pass out barf bags in church
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
