You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
