Your face is a jimmy john
are you so shy because you have an std?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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