i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
