I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
