nutella sex= disaster
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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