Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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