I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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