Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to have your abortion
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
