i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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